Groom-To-Be 101

So, you emptied your bank account, bought the ring, popped the question, and now you get to kick back until your wedding day rolls around, right? That's one way to do it but the best way to keep your future wife happy and keep you from sleeping on the couch, is to get involved. In the end you'll be glad you were involved and the payoff will much more worthwhile.

1. Free Your Mind (and the rest will follow)
This is just as much your wedding as is it your bride's. Let your opinion on reception location, church, color scheme, food & music be known. It is important that this day be something that represents the two of you as a couple. She will appreciate the fact that you are getting involved. Not to mention, when Aunt Clarice asks about the planning you will have an answer... she will also be thankful to you taking some of the questions.

2. Relish Your Registry

It may seem like an awful way to spend your Saturday or Sunday; especially if it's football season, but think about it: You get to wander around a store (granted it has a lot of kitchen stuff), picking things you want that you know someone most likely will buy you -- you can’t beat that. Better yet, it’s now common to shop beyond the kitchen department. Go to the power tool department or the grill department - Hell, just go to Home Depot! Seriously. You can do that!

3. Don't Be a Pushover -- Really

She wants to register for a yellow comforter with little pink flowers. All you can see when you look at it all your friends laughing at you. Try to meet her in the middle. Tell her the color yellow is fine but you're just not too sure about the pink flowers, maybe there is another yellow with a different pattern... slowly remove the scan gun from her hand and walk her away. She most likely is on wedding overload and just needs a fresh opinion. She needs it from you. Find something you both like and you'll both be happy.

4. Give Her a Break
You need to make sure she doesn't have an ulcer by the time she walks down the aisle. Give her a night to relax and cook her dinner, do the dishes, rent her favorite movie (yes, even a chick flick), and remind her why wedding planning is worth the stress. Also, along the way, make sure you tell her what a great job she's doing.

5. Don’t Add Insult

Your fiance may complain about her mom who’s being a control freak, or about her uncle who wants to bring his new girlfriend, or her cousin who wants to bring all four of her kids. Don’t join in on the family bashing. Hear her out, agree with her, but don’t take this opportunity to tell her the things about her family that annoys you. Her bad mood will pass, but your careless comments may stick.

6. Arrange the Attire
Send out detailed emails to all your groomsmen filling them in on the info for the formal wear -- let them know when and where to get fitted for their tuxes, and remind them to return the suits the day after the wedding to avoid annoying late fees. Copy your fiance on the emails to prove that you've got everything under control. It may also be helpful to ask the guys to reply to all if they have a questions. This way you could avoid answering the same question 100 times and if you're not sure maybe your girl can help you out.

The more info you can share, the better. Got directions to the tux place? Include them. Don't assume they'll know anything about this stuff. Did you before you got engaged?

7. Manage Your Men

Know your friend who loses his car keys at least once a week? Probably better not to make him responsible for bringing your ring to the ceremony. And your buddy who tends to drink too much? Make sure one of your more reliable (or sober) groomsmen keeps him from flirting with your fiance’s mom at the rehearsal dinner. Your guys don't have to be saints, but they will have responsibilities, and it's your job to make sure they know what they are.

8. Get Sentimental

The day of your wedding, send her a gift, flowers, or a sweet note to read while she's getting ready. It will remind her all her hard work has been worth it, not to mention it will remind her of why she said 'yes' in the first place.

Groom Tested, Bride Approved.

So you're the best bud, the wingman, the broski, the amigo, the comrade... the Best Man. Well, old chum, old pal, it looks like your best friend has tired of the days of 'scoring hot chicks' and smashing beer cans against his forehead. It is your job to wish him well with the biggest, baddest bachelor party this country has even seen. And by God you're gonna do it with a keg and a stripper!

Stop.

Think.

Haven't you been too about 100 of those kinds of bachelor parties before? Don't you get sick of those dollar pinching girls, EVER? Why not do something really manly, something adventurous, something you need some big you-know-whats to do. Try one of these ass-kicking, gut punching, scream like a girl activities and make sure your best friend knows what he is going to be missing as he says good-bye to his single life.

(If you are a bride, don't worry. All of these ideas have been "bride approved!" It's just good clean fun...)

Surf's Up, Bro

If the groom you're planning for knows how to surf and lives near the beach, grab your boards, your old Ace of Base tape (ok, ok... CD) for the road trip, pack a color of great 'beach' beers and go surfing. If he (or anyone in the group) is surf-impaired, try to arrange some group lessons to learn to ride the waves.

White-Water Rafting

Push the memory of you peeing the boat on the family canoe trip out of your mind, you can control your bladder now. White-water rafting is the perfect macho bachelor party activity and you can make a weekend out of it by camping - what could be more manly than man vs. nature and wiping your ass with a leaf?

Day of Thunder

Take the groom to the race track! He will be able to work off a little of his nervous energy in a fast and furious way! Check out RacingSchools.com for local tracks and programs, they have everything from dragsters, to stock cars and even go-karts for the daredevils! He'll be asking you to call him Mario Andretti by the time the checkered flag is waving.

Deep Sea Fishing

Fishing is an age-old bonding activity for men. Why not charter a deep-sea fishing boat and hope the groom gets to spend the better part of an afternoon wrestling with a marlin? Follow it up with crabs and beer on the deck.

Skydiving

You are going to be wearing one-piece jumpsuits, you are going to have another guy strapped to your back, your life depends on them... what could be better? This truly is a heart-pumping adventure if you really have a daredevil to plan a party for. Bring some portable horseshoes or a frisbee while you wait to jump and when you are teetering on the edge at 14,000 feet, don't forget to look down!

Tips for Planning a Menu

1. Get Creative, But Not Too Creative
Even though you and yours may be willing to try all different types of food, that does not mean your guests will. When working with your caterer ask for things that the two of you enjoy and have them fill in the blanks with classics that everyone loves! This way all your gusts are happy and get to share another side of the two of you. You can also dedicate a whole course to yourselves, make dessert something that you love but maybe not everyone else will and give the rest of the meal to the guests with traditional items.

2. Save Money on Dry Cleaning
Don’t pick an appetizer or meat that has a sticky, messy sauce on it that has the potential to drip all over your guests clothing!

3. Dress It Up
If you’re going with a buffet, choose food that looks just as good at the end of the evening as it does in the beginning. When planning the menu for a lunch or a dinner, think of the plate as an empty canvas and have your food be the artwork. It is a great touch to “wow” your guests.

4. Plan for Picky Eaters
Guests can have a host of food restrictions, preferences, and allergies. When interviewing caterers, ask for an example of a time they've had to accommodate an unusual circumstance on the fly. Also, be sure the caterer or banquet manager has briefed the wait staff on the menu's ingredients. It is also always nice to ask guests on their reply card to list food allergies or vegetarian requests. .

5. Tasting are a MUST
Always, always … ALWAYS do a tasting! No matter how much you love crab cakes you never know what they put in theirs! You may no enjoy it at all and you would hate to find that out, right along with your guests on wedding day. Go taste everything you like in the proposal and maybe even some stuff you didn't. It is worth every minute of being there.

Will You? I Do. (Q/A)

Will You? (Q):
Do the fathers of the bride and groom wear tuxedos or suits?

I Do. (A):

The fathers wear what the Groom's Party is wearing. If the groom and his merry men are wearing tights, then they should as well. Oh wait, that's Robin Hood and his merry men. I meant, if the groom and his groomsmen are wearing tuxedo's the fathers should. If they are wearing suits, then suits all around.

If you want to make the fathers differentiate a small bit from the rest of the fine looking gentlemen, give them a different color tie or vest. Get creative but make sure all the colors match and everyone looks like they belong at the same event!

6 Easy (and some obvious) Ways to Cut Costs

The idea of cutting costs on a wedding is not ideal for a bride – but almost always needed, unless the bride & groom want to pony up some extra cash ... here are some easy ways to keep your costs low!

1. Reduce the size of your guest list. Extra guests mean extra invitations, extra catering costs, extra centerpieces, extra favors and extra transportation worries. Why take on more than you need. Do you really want to have a huge wedding full of people you do not really know all too well? Easy ways to cut the size of your guest list is to not invite co-workers, unless you are particularly good friends with them, ask that guests not bring children, have guests come solo if they are not in a serious relationship and not to invite distant family relatives.

2. Shop for wedding dresses during sales season. December and May are particularly popular months for wedding dress sales. You may also be able to buy sample dresses, your chances being increased if you wear a common dress size. A number of charities also hold sales for donated wedding dresses where you can often snap up a bargain. Do not rule out shopping online for your dress either, just bear in mind that if you buy online you will probably need to find a local seamstress to make any alterations.

3. Make your wedding invitations as light and small as possible. This will save you money on the cost of postage. If your wedding guest list is quite sizable all those stamps will add up pretty quickly. There are even options these days to do save-the-dates as emails and you can set up a wedding web page for guests to look up information usually sent in an invitation.

4. Hold your ceremony on a weekday instead of a Saturday. Saturday is the most popular day for a wedding so you will be competing for vendors and wedding locations. As your vendors and your venue will not be short of customers for that day this can allow them to hike up the prices and you may well find that they do just that. Holding your wedding on a different day, when your venue and vendors are struggling for customers can give you great leverage to negotiate a lower price. A college roommate of mine did this - as a guests it was wonderful. I still had my whole weekend to look forward to!!

5. Get crafty. Do it yourself cannot only save you a lot of money, but can be great socially as well. You and your bridesmaids can get together regularly to get crafty. Common DIY wedding projects are invitations, favors, programs and save the dates. It also gives your wedding your personal touch - and this may be a GREAT way to get the groom involved. He has ideas and this may be a great and easy way to make his ideas stand out.

6. Cut the cost of your food by offering fewer choices of meals on the menu and fewer courses. A buffet reception may also be less expensive than a seated meal as it requires less staffing.

Picking Your Reception Site

First things first, trying to decide when and where your wedding reception and ceremony is going to take place. Keep in mind your budget when even looking for places. In any event planning ask right off the bat what the space costs. If you know your budget you should know right away if you have to cross the space off you list before wasting time going to see it. When you do go and check it out, below are some important questions to ask – and these aren’t all the questions just a good start!

 How much will it cost to use this site? Is there a payment plan?

 Is there a reception package? What's included and how much does it cost?

 Does the site have liability insurance? (If someone gets injured during the party, you don't want to be held responsible -- if the site doesn't have insurance, you'll need to get your own.)

 How long will you have the site? Is there an overtime fee if you stay longer? Must you rent the site for a minimum amount of time?

 Will there be another party just before or just after yours? If so, will there be enough time to clean up and redecorate before the next wedding begins, or is an awkward overlap possible?

 Are tables, chairs, plates, and glasses available, or will you have to provide (rent) them yourself or get them through your caterer? This can send your costs a lot higher then you may anticipate

 Is there an in-house caterer (or a list of "preferred" caterers), or must you provide your own? Can you choose to use an outside caterer instead?

 Are there kitchen facilities? Caterers charge extra if they have to haul in refrigerators and stoves and that is usually not something that works with a budget.

 Must you leave everything as is, or can you move things around and decorate to suit your purposes? Are there decoration guidelines?

 If there's parking, is it free? If not, what are the rates and gratuities for valets? (You can and should pay this up front so your guests don't have to tip.)

 Will there be, or can you set up, a coatroom? Are there sufficient restroom facilities?

 If there's no bar, can one be set up? Does the place even have a liquor license or does the caterer (outside) have to provide one?

 Is there a dress code?

 Does the site have restrictions on what kind of music you can play, or a time at which music must be turned off?

 Will someone who works at the location supervise your wedding? This should be the person you plan with, not someone you won't meet until the wedding.

 How about security? Must you hire your own security guards, or does the site hire them or have them on staff? As much as we all love the movie wedding crashers, you should feel comfortable with the security level so there isn’t one.

 What’s the cancellation policy? Some places will refund most of your deposit if you cancel far enough in advance (often 60 days), since there's still a chance they can rent the space.

Good Luck!

Will You? I Do.

Will You? (Q):

Who walks the bride down the isle when her parents are divorced and she has a great stepfather?

I Do. (A):

There are many ways to approach this dilemma. I think one of the main things is deciding how the stepfather should participate in the wedding. Does he assist in walking the bride down the isle or does he have another important role – and even sometimes, a not so important role. It is up to the bride and groom, they could have him do a reading or help light the unity candle, and he could also have a dance with the bride at the reception.

Guests “Gifts”

Welcome to the wonderful world of wedding gift giving, in my opinion one of the most anti-climatic gift giving experience.

Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful to buy a blender for the newlyweds– maybe even a stainless steel one! It is a comfortable gift buying incident, you know they want it, they know they will most likely get it; it’s a win-win situation.

However, maybe the Bride, Groom and the checkbook are not thinking about other things they really want in respect to their wedding… maybe they have been living together for years and have a stainless steel blender and they just don’t need another one. Maybe they would rather have really fun favors for all their wedding guests.

If you, as a guest, the Bride & Groom, and the wallet think outside the box a little maybe you can all walk away with a true sense of gift giving (and receiving) bliss and a great memory of really pitching in to send the newlyweds into married life with some style!

The chances the Bride & Groom will ask for these things are pretty slim, speak up and offer and if they insist “no” then it’s back to the ‘ol registry …

- Wedding Cake
- Invitations, Menu Cards, Place Cards etc.
- Special Linens, Glassware etc.
- Wedding Favors
- Centerpieces
- Bridal Party Bouquets & Boutonnières

Keeping Everyone Happy at YOUR Wedding

Now that you, your fiancé, your families and all your friends have decided to take the plunge - you have a lot of fun, stress and happiness ahead.

When planning your wedding the hardest thing you will come across is remembering while it is important that the people who are paying for it (usually mom & dad) are happy with how their money is being spent, the wedding is about you and your fiancé.

When making floral choices, color scheme choices, linen choices etc. keep in mind it doesn’t matter is Aunt “I’m going to complain about everything” Louise doesn’t like the color purple. It doesn’t matter if your brother hasn’t worn shoes in 13 years because he is a self proclaimed “mountain man” – he has to wear those shiny, patent leather penguin shoes because you say so.

Just keep in mind that you don’t want to become a Bride-zilla and Groom-zilla (do those even exist?!). During the planning process make sure to say thank you to everyone who helps, breathe slowly when something is getting a little stressful – and take a break with each other from the wedding planning! By keeping yourself happy, stress-free and calm, all of your friends, family and guests will be happy too!

P.S: As long as your wedding party isn’t dressed like they are from another galaxy, everyone should be JUST FINE with the way YOUR wedding pans out – enjoy, and may the force be with you…